Dear ain♥

Date :
Time :
Title : second chance?

Sitting by the river

Dreaming through my reflection

I wonder what has happened

What has caused this distance

We used to be together

Cuddling close to each other

What came between our beautiful love? I don’t know, though I wish to

I can see you now, not alone

You’re holding a hand, that’s not mine

Where am I? Why not next to you?

Why am I away? I don’t understand

You’re smiling to the fullest

I am not the one making you happy

You are glancing at someone else

Why is it not me?

Seeing you after such a long time…My heart sighs again

Some thing inside me growls loud

Cause now your hand runs through her hair

I stand some distance well away

But the surroundings disappear

When I look at you, I feel lost inside

I wish you back, my angel

There you are, holding her hand

And I am lost, trying to understand…

I want you back, I really do

Just to hold your hand

And walk with you

you were always there for me

always by my side

I guess I couldn't see

without you I just can't abide

those times I loved the most

were just talking with you

who would've known

now I'm all alone

and all I can do is think of you

I loved it when you held me

all safe and warm

I felt no harm could touch me

in your strong protecting arms

but then I messed up

I really don't know why

with you I broke up

and now I am sorry

all I want, is a second chance

I understand that's not easy to do

even if you won't give me a glance

All I want you to know,

I'll always love you

xoxo,ain.

ps. i have been listening to this song, don't let it end-stynx.

over and over again.

Labels: i need you

Date :
Time :
Title : i need you,boo.

i had another sleepless night.
tossing and turning on my bed.
i dont know why,
but i got insecured when i heard you going out to study with another girl.
i dont know why,
i got jealous when you said you love another girl.
eventhough you dont mean it.
if its not true,why must you publish it till now?
its been days already.
i tried hiding my feelings,
but i couldnt help it.
i know i shouldnt feel this way
and be really happy for you.
i must try harder,
to act as i dont care.
and even harder,
to avoid you.
but i'm just a lovefool,
who keep coming back to you.
i cant erase you from my mind.
i cant delete you from my heart.
i told myself over and over again,
not to contact you.
but i couldnt bring myself to it.
i couldnt let go.
couldnt let go of you.
couldnt let go of our history.
couldnt let go of what we built.
lots of things been happening.
lots of things are bothering me.
i need you by my side,
so that i can stand strong.
i need you by my side,
so that i can cry on your shoulders.
i need you by my side,
so that i can seek advise from you.
i need you by my side,
so that you could hug me tightly
and whisper to my ears that everything is going to be ok.

you misunderstood me alot.
people around me dont hate you.
they just protect me from getting hurt again.
but i know,
that it wont happen again.
but right now,
everything is going the exact opposite way of what we planned.
thats why i couldnt tell them about you.
but after that day,
it was so magical.
i knew i have to tell them the truth.
but i couldnt do it anymore,
because you took it wrongly.
im sorry.
really i am.
i never hate you,
they never hate you.

i pray.
i hope.
i wish.
that you will be by my side again.
maybe not now,
but never say never.
because i know,
deep down in my heart,
we are meant to be together.
as you once told me,
only death do us apart.

Date :
Time :
Title : you don't know.

hurt my both feet just now.
after walking,even for a short distance felt like years.
even in this condition,u left me.
without a word.
then you text me saying,that's our last meeting.

when we spend time together,
it seems like you are avoiding all my questions.
guilt written all over you face?
why cant you tell me about your life.
but you really want to know about mine.

do you know how hurt am i when i wrote that long long msg for u?
i was crying in the train yet u did not reply.
after walking that felt like years,i was so in pain.
i thought my feet fell off.
do u know you know how much i wanted you to be there?
to hold on tightly to.
do you know that i magine you and me in the bus all the time?
all the time during my journey home.
do you know how much i want to hug you?
when i told my mom about the $100?
you dont know right?
where were you?

Date :
Time :
Title : without you.

im feeling helpless and lonely.
i never felt this way before.
my heads keep turning.
my tears keep rolling.
i keep helping others,listening to them,giving them advice.
but what about me?
all the pain i suffered alone.
without the world knowing.
i put up a strong mask,but im running out of them.
evey night i cried to myself till i fell asleep.
no one knows what im going through.
no one know how much it hurts.
few people came out to me and asked.
but i keep pushing everyone away,and put up my own wall.
a world of my own.
zillions things on my mind,but the person i love the most is not here.
he's busy with his own life.
what have i do wrong in this world to be in this state.
maybe i lied a couple of times.
but is it that bad that i must receive all this shit.alone.
everyone thought im that happy,cheerful and bubbly girl.
who has everything and anything.
but no one know how much she's hurting.
i shut my window so tight so that no one can peep through it.
it's ok.because i belive one day everything's gonna be ok.

and you.
i got nothing much to say to you.
eventhough u said alot of hutful things,
"i hate you"
"you are the most irritating person i ever seen"
"with an attitude like that,who wants you"
i keep coming back to you.
i dont know why.i dont know how.
am i being stupid?
or im just a lovefool?
no matter how bad u treated me,i never told anyone.
never did i tell others your flaws.
never did i say anything bad to u or make up stories about you.
all i did was showing off how great you were,
eventhough you are not mine.
you may not know how dissapointed am i.
how hurt am i.
tears cant stop rolling.
i called you many times,
but to no available.
perhaps you are busy with her.
when i read those.
even if you said you dont mean it,i never know.

all i hope and pray is everyone will be safe,happy and healthy.
alot of people i know or heard lost their loved ones.
some admitted to the hospital.
atleast i know,im not the worse.yet.

Date :
Time :
Title : used.

you are just using me.
over and over again.
each day i got hurt deeper and deeper because of you.
now,its time not to think about you and your feelings.
but mine.
it's time fo me to forget.
forget everything.

Labels: why me?

Yours Truly.

ain♥

i still need my bantal busok when i sleep.i detest mint and spicy food.
but give me lolipop and strawberry coated with chocolate,i will make you mine!
:)