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Date : Saturday, February 28, 2009
Time : 3:04 PM Title : blame me. finally,tat singtel person came and repair my internet acess and i can use lappy back. however,shit happen in life and sometimes we can fix things back to where it used to be.but currently i dont think i can do that anymore.the problem was way toooooo deeeeeep fix.blame my mouth for saying things without thinking.i used a really really stong word to him that was soo strong to bring tears to his eyes.and despite millions of sorry i said could not make him forgive me and act as though nothing happen and be happy together again.but i was too mad.i hate him hangging up on me.and ke keep doing it.like yesterday night,he hang up and did not even call me back.in fact he went to sleep despite my zillions miss call.and this morning,he went out without telling me.he never did that to me.and when he called,he's angry coz i talked to my sisiter for a while.i know that his hp got problem.but he did hang up on me,not his hp fault.i heard him say pape lah and press the btton to hang up.and i got pissed and say mean hings to him.and now,he wont forgive me.he wont even listen to me.he wont even text or call me.i bet he wont even read this post.damn~ and i got no other way to talk and apologise to him.blame me for not thinking before saying anything.and i did the exact opposite thing compared to what i swear to him.may all the bad horrible terrible deadliest things happen to me. i know im wrong.im sorry.i loovee you,abdul rasheed. Labels: stupid.
Date : Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Time : 10:00 PM Title : a new beginning. this post is for bf,asheed. these past few days ive been worried and sad for bf.he was aimless and lost with no directions to go.i felt that it was really unfair as he still got the drive to tudy but was not given a chance.going for ns was his only option.and im not ready to let go of him.i know one day he still have to go,but not now.i think its time for him to concentrate on his studies and making a brught future.but not anymore.im currently feeling very happy.and realief.he's taking private 'O' and will be deferring his ns.so tat's a good news.but a bad news fof me coz i said to him that if he did not have to go to ns now,i will treat him dinner.and now...dang~so bye bye $$.hahaha.but its okie.i baek tau b..... when i end my 'O',im so clever that i threw away all my notes.and now im helping bf and im having a bad time.but lucky got seri.she still keep her notes.so im asking her to give me and i will photocopy and pass it to baby.and now,since im free all the way till end of april when poly starts,i will be helping bf with his studies.he got lots of cathing up to do.and im willing to spare my time with him.and when i help him,i get to meet him.so i will be seeing his bacen face nearly everday.best or wat??! i will make sure he will do well and enter poly.after he end his course,he have a chance to go higher nitec.but wat a waste,he's not intrested in that course.so he switched to another course but theres no vacancy left.and finally i knew wat is in his heart.he wants to be the same standard as me according to academic wise.and he thought that thats the onli way.sp he tried very hard.he pray for it.but God is neither deaf nor blind,He know his people need help and turn to Him.and maybe He doesnt set bf life journey to go to ite nitec then higher nitec den ns den poly.He show him a path,a shorter route to get to the same destination.and that is private 'O'.and its now up to bf to make full use of it,to work really really hard and be in poly with me:) now bf know how it feels to be aimless and lost when he could not get to any ite and dissapointed when he did badly for 'N'.and i hope he make full use of this and not to make the same mistake.asheed,behind every failure,there;s a sucess.u may face alot of setbacks now but the future will be bright for you.ingat tau ape i cakap ngan u k oat fone tat nite.and dun be sad anymore.im here.i will support u and i will guide u and i will help u in every way i could think of. i loove you,abdul rasheed. Labels: i will help you.
Date : Sunday, February 22, 2009
Time : 1:36 PM Title : alone. Eventhough there's many people around me,i just feel that no one is here with me.i feel so lonely.LONELY.got family and boyfriend,but no one is there for me.im just a stain that they want to erase.now i then i get the picture. Labels: emptiness.
Date : Saturday, February 21, 2009
Time : 8:09 PM Title : stupid, today went out with family.skipped breakfast and straight away have lunch at bali thai.tot af eating at swensens or fig & olive,but they wanted to try there.very very nice.i ate alooot.when i say alot,it's really alot.so went to vivo.nothing caught my attention.my bro bought his stuff and im upset.my mom broght for my cousin who i despise a bag which i choose yet again a river island.damn.den got a $20 voucher.i told my mother i want that voucher and she said she want to giveit to me.when i took it,my bro just snatched it away from me.he straight away buy his stuff.takpt org ambik ke pe?wth lah.potong jalan.hutang $20 org bile nak bayar.and my mom is fcuking biased.she just hate me.she said so many stuff abt my bro,he dissapointed her,yet he still got money by sleeping till evening.while i helped her with aloot of work and got nothing.and buy so many good things for people who did shit to me.when i got good result for 'O',i asked her for something,1 bende haram pon takde.when i asked something for my birthday,juz forget it.will never happen.just dinner which will evntually turned out to be shit.ergh!hate it.i hate it aloooot.whatever eh.i felt inferior enough,but now i feel unimportant.whatever.i wanna sleep.stupid people.
Labels: unimportant.
Date : Friday, February 20, 2009
Time : 2:38 AM Title : birthday party. so ayu birthday party were held just now.was supposed to be a small gathering but i think it turned out to be quite big.damn,its exhausting.and im pissed off with my cuzzies AGAIN!can i dont elaborate on it.ergh!how colud she say tat??!!im soooooo hating her.and she act like she know korea show soooo much.we happened to watch the same show and she is only at the 2nd episode and she tell me this and that.and when i told her i watched half of it already,baru senyap.wth kan?!can i kill her?and its not bcoz of the korean show tat im mad at her,its something else. k,watever.might as well i tell u.fyi,the person im talking abt is the same 16yrs old tat im talking abt in my previous post.so she asked me"eh.u biomed rite?u sure anot?u?in biomed?i tot u must be smart to be in tat course,atleast blow 10.and its so hard to get in lah.and u got in?wth?"and i reply"yah im in biomed.bioemedical engineering."and she said"cheey.i tot the other biomed.aiyah,many other people still can go ur course lah.next time say the fullname of ur course.dun say the short form.later ppl think u smart."and i said"since when u asked me wat course i got.",while maintaining a fake smile on my face.then she kept quiet.tu lah,aksyen sangat nak tnye wad course i got.since im the highest 'o'result holder.she's just jealous and finding way to pull me down.she asked her mom abt me,as if her mom know.then she asked her sis,she only know the biomed part so she just say biomed lah.then when my bro was eating,i came up to him,since not many ppl were there on the table.i asked him to accompany me to np for my eye check up.since my course required me not to be colour blind and he's from np also.then my bro do want.he say "wahlao.i evryday kalau bole dun wan go school,u want me to teman u to np for ur eye check up."then my mom scolded him and forced him to go since he's on his school break and he got nothing to do also.and u know my mom voice,super the loud tat averyone could hear it.and my makcik say wah need aye check up semue uh to study tat course.and so she came up to me "ur course really tat important uh?need eye check up semue?its only biomed engineering not the good one wad."then i said "yah i think so.since its more to science and i need to see the chemical colour and colour changes.u take chemistry den u shld know right."and she kept quiet.wahlao!!!! i cannot tahan my anger already.ARGH!!!!can i kill her please??? k,till here.i dun wish to continue my entry. goodnite all.stay pretty. i loovee you,abdul rasheed. Labels: can i kill her please?
Date : Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Time : 11:05 PM Title : v'day! HAPPY BELATED VALENTINE DAY TO EVERYONE! so my valentine was spent with dearest bf,picnic at botanic.first,we went to kfc first.actually thought of buying takeaway and have it at our picnic.but me and bf were toooo hungry tat we cannot tahan already.so we just eat there.heh.den walk slowly to botanic gardens.surprisingly,many were there.usually we go there,there's not many people.perhaps its v'day.fyi,i always go there with bf coz there's too many memories and occasion that were held there.so we baring2,snuggle each other,talk2,camwhore abit.so many semot lah.tak suke.soon it's dark and we walked slowly,making our way out from botanic.too lazy to walked back to town,we took the bus.plan was to allight at town but lazy to tuka2 train so bus all the way to bugis then mrt home,back to chinese garden.then kene jalan lagi to my block,meet a girl tat i don't like pat bwh block.tsk!(the one wearing green). and home sweet home. by the way,did i tell u tat me and bf bumped into aloooot of people on v'day.first wany.den my bro and fren.den matin and fazlin.and unluckily,the girl pat bwh block.hahahahha.so basically my valentine was fun and its full with loovvee. oh yah,i got a heart shape cake,picture frame with a picture of us and a pink rose!! i loove them can?and i bake for him mini pizzas and a box of chocolate:) hope he like.heeee... and tommorrow is my sister birthday.HAPPY BIRTHDAY AYU!!!! actually mom plan to buy for her cake then have a mini party with dad and bro.but change of plan.my makcik and cuzzies rmbr tat its her bdae tmr so they intended to come.my mom cant say no u cant come to them.so two of my makcik and famillies are coming.damn~1 of them has 4kids and the mother just cant be bothered abt them.and dont get me started to complain 1 by 1 about her kids.and my other makcik,oklah.but the anak,i very lazy to layan.they just loovee talking shit about others but w/o realising,they also did the same shit.i just dont get these kind of ppl.making and talking shit about others just to feel better abt themselves.wth! come on lah u two,u guys are freaking 16 and 23 years old.juz grow up.and the prson u talking shit is only 12.come on lah.dun tell me u guys are jealous of a 12 year old kid.i agree i dont really like her.she like to take my stuff WITHOUT permission and look at my hp WITHPUT permission,too grown up for her age.like outting on skinnies,make up and stuff.but just let her be.she just wanna try stuff.dun tell me when u both were younger,u dun huf the urge of wanting to have the same thing as someone older than u.it just pisses me off to see and hear to fully grown-up woman to be talking shit abt a younger one.lagi2 yg si 23tahun.u r too old for this.when i told my mom and bro wad i heard,they were angry too.not at the 12yrs old girl who wanted to try but the 16 and 23 yrs old who are very very very very very immature.u both say that she copy u that,copy u this,but dun u realise tat u both have the same thing as i do which i bought it first.tat really pisses me off.u dun talk shit abt someone else and also doing tat same shit.god!when i tie my hair like tat,both say"nak step mane nye pmpn jap.tak lawa pon nak buat"and 1 of them did it.infront of me some more.arent u ashamed??u tell shit abt me and u also did the same thing!where's ur brain??u both told me my skirt looks cheap and out dated.and in the end,u bought the same damn skirt from the same damn shop.u guys secretly asked my mom behind my back abt my skirt and where i got it.and the 16yrs old is always smarter than me.and she wants to be the best in everything.and when i got 14 for my 'O',she doesnt even congratulate me but she say"huuh?14 je.and u say its good enuf for you.i tot when u say its good u are like the top student or something"WTH!!this year its her turn to take the 'O',so im just waiting for ur result.and the 23yrs old thimk im soooo stupid is it?before the exam,she asked me wats my aim and i say atleast below 16 and im happy.and she said"what?below 16?u sure anot?u tat smart uh?"WTF!!and when i got my result,she asked everyon abt my result and got no guts to ask me.but no1 is sure coz my mom doesnt wanna brag and juz give a vague response to everyone.sekali she asked my mom,my mom say 14 and she go biomed.she angkat her kening and say"really uh?ur daughter ain uh?14 uh?sure anot??"she even got the guts to say stuff like tat to my mom.and my mom was like "yah!tats ain result.my daughter.why?"hahah.den she keep quiet.ambik kau ubat! if u are smarter than me,and got a fcuking good result like 9 or 10,and u wanna say tat to me,i dun mind.but u got a stinking 27 for ur 'O' and before the exam u still wanna give me advice.sudah!might as well i listen to my bro who got 16"lek je ain."and with ur 27,u huf to go to ite but bcoz of MY dad,he appeal for u and u got into a tak laku course at sp.ok!so be grateful.daamn!ergh!!!there's still many things tat u both have done and i done utter a word to u or any1 else coz i dun wan u both to be ashamed.but to think tat u both are doing tat to a small girl,it tempts me even more to tell the whole wide world about u two. see,i told u not to let me get started.i shld just stop coz i see no reason to be venting my anger to my lappy keyboard.i shld vent my anger to those two immature idiots! lets forget abt the negative things. picture-time. ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() i loovee you,abdul rasheed. Labels: happy birthday ayu:)
Date : Monday, February 9, 2009
Time : 3:31 PM Title : catching up. hey hey.so valentine is in a week time.there is a slight possibilities that me and bf gonna celebrate it a day later coz he got soccer and all.but it doesnt dampened our mood to celebrate it.picnic at botanic.so he gonna bring air and nasi.i bring mat and food too.basically light tidbits.and i wan a bouquet of roses yg jual pat mini toons.the pink one.its not real rose so it wont die and be a waste of money.and since it wont die,it will symbolises an undying love,the love that wont die off.eh sweet ke pe mummy?hahahaha.*inside joke* yah k,watever.me and bf promises each other not to get present for one another coz short of money. since so long never update,i forgot wat happened last few days.but one thing i rmbr,i've been talking alot with seri on the fone.catching up stories and also the korean drama that we both are crazy for.HANA YORI DANGO/BOYS OVER FLOWERS.its korean version.best oi! she plan to meet up.soon ok seri dear?she busy working lah.tsk! and and and,i was on newspaper.to be exact,saturday berita harian pag 24.hahaha.malu oi.my makcik2 semue kecoh,msg2 me saying wah dah popular seh and stuff.hahahah.its abt my malay teacher.bcoz of her,we got best malay results for 'O'.and shes a singer.so she implies music to the way she teached us.and lagi die ade buat album baru,so that day my malay class went out for dinner and we bought her cd.oklah her voice. and saturday,went out with bf.beginning,its an akward date.arguing alot.then time nak balek,pat mrt jugak,i tell him wats wrong,my feelings and thoughts and opinion.and i was very very honest with him that somehow i dissapoint him.i shld have told him pat boat quat area but no,i got no guts to spit it out.and i choose to tell him pat mrt.wrong move ain. its not that i give up on us or have another guy in my mind.but i feel like giving everything up and give u space as we fight too much.whenever we fight i thought ur love for me were lessend but u prove me wrong.in fact,u want to settle down with me.im very sorry for evrything.i still love you but i just got sick and tired of arguing with you as i know how it will affect us.and i dont want us to end up like that but u didnt even think abt it.im wrong.and im sorry for everything.evrytime we fight,u say im in the wrong.u want to stop it but i just wont stop.but honestly i thought u were in the wrong and i dont want to give in and say sorry.and i cant accept it that u keep saying im in the wrong every single time.i just cant take it anymore.thats y i felt like that.but now i realise im being way too selfish.when i think im not in the wrong,actually i am.im very sorry asheed:( i loove you,abdul rasheed. Labels: please come soon., tuesday and wednesday
Date : Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Time : 10:48 PM Title : NP! at long last,i've updated my blog.so currently im posted to biomedical engineering at ngee ann poly.not my 1st choice though.but ok lah.as long the course i got is under my choices,im happy.so school starts in another 2months.nak carik keje,too late.who want seh.but i stayed at home way too much.been going out and spending my money.skrg dah kering.but im expecting my mom to give my monney soon.and my money from bro which he owe me.smpi skrg tak bayar.i doubt he gonna pay.so im not depending on that money that much.i need money for valentines day.
and talking about valentines day.im so excited for it.i action2 say to bf that no one has asked me for a date yet in that day.den he sengaje act like he dunno any nuts.bacen!heh.so eventually he asked me out.got no plans for our date.due2 takde duit.cannot afford present or posh dinner.im planning for a picnic.it will be fun.somehow we will make it fun.afterall babyrash is my happy pill:) so 'll bring mat and food.asheed bring food and drinks.ok lah.fair pe.i still remember my first va,entine with him.so touched yet fun at the same time.sitting by the river.exchanging gifts.ate dinner.we were so happy.but im extra happy right now.coz last year,we were not girlfriend boyfriend.skrg we are soulmates:) k,till here.nites:) cherrios. i love you,abdul rasheed. Labels: valentines. |
ain♥ i still need my bantal busok when i sleep.i detest mint and spicy food. but give me lolipop and strawberry coated with chocolate,i will make you mine! :) November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 September 2019 |